This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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