You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
