i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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