how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
