I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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