Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
