I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
