dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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