once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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