so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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