i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
