lets start a swedish sibling band together
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
