clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
