Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
