Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
