erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
