Your tits are I can't wait for
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
