He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
