New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
