If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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