I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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