dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
