thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
