Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
