can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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