what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
