never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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