while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
