apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
