and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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