I wanna passion pit in your ass
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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