If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
