just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
