Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
