How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
