I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
