she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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