fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
