just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
