hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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