What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
