is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
