"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Randomize
