do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
