you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
