Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
