I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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