he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
