I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
