hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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