so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
These tits shall not be calmed
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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