I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
