how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
