We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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