if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
